BUSH:MY LONG NIGHTMARE IS OVER, I CAN NOW DRINK IN PUBLIC
By R J Shulman
MIDLAND, Texas – (PTSD News) – In an exclusive interview with the Post Times Sun Dispatch, former President George W. Bush said that he is relieved that his term in office has finally ended. “Without the red hot light of the press searchlight on me,” Bush said, “I can really be like that old Sly and the Family Rock song, Thank You For Letting Me Be Me Again. Now I can tap a brew and hoist a keg, if you know what I mean. I can do a few lines and not the ones of the telepromticator which you have to do in public on TV, no, I will do these lines in the privacy of my own room with my own rolled up dollar bill. Now, I can spend the night at Condi’s house and talk about affairs that are not national. And most of all, I don’t have to pretend I care about anything, ‘cause I don’t.

“I don’t have to pretend I am a cowboy, no more neither,” Bush said. “The only thing I hate worse than damn stinky horses is having to clear brush. Cheney said hacking away at the brush would make me look manly. Well, Dick, see if you like whacking brush from your wheelchair and truth about you Dick is that having to be in the same room with you was like torture. Not, like torture, actually was torture. And finally,” Bush said, “I’m getting rid of that red elephant ranch down there in Crawford, faster than Bernie Madoff lost all that money. And I can give the finger to anyone I want. So, America, you give me the lowest rating in history, then I’ve got this big bird for you, heh-heh. So I want you to know that you guys at the Post Times Sun Dispatch get the last interview with me as now I am going to AWOL it, you know, I'm going to make like a tree and split, make like a banana and leave, heh-heh.”

The Post Times Sun Dispatch will print the entire interview this Sunday.