CHENEY INJURES BACK WHEN HE SLIPS ON WATERBOARD
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – Vice President Dick Cheney injured his back while moving today and will be in a wheelchair for the inauguration tomorrow. “He picked up a box and was moving it when he accidentally stepped on a waterboard that wasn’t packed yet. “We underestimated how long it would take to pack up all of the gear that was used in Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and his own private chamber,” said Walter Hutchinson, a Cheney spokesman.

Cheney’s doctors recommended that he stay in a wheelchair for at least a week. Cheney said he wasn’t going to be upset about his injury because, “I get to emulate one of my heroes, Doctor Strangelove and two, they have fitted my wheelchair with machine guns and a rocket launcher.”