BUSH WON’T LEAVE WHITE HOUSE, VOWS TO KEEP HIS HOME
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – President Bush, who was scheduled to vacate the White House next week to make way for the new tenant, Barack Obama, surprised everyone by using his last weekly presidential address to announce he is not leaving. “I aim to be a beacon of symbolisms for them American families who are being foreclosicated out of their homes. Besides, I need to have this place in Washington as the White House has served me well as a vacation home when clearing the brush on my ranch got a little too intense. Also, what kind of a man would I be if I allowed Laura to have her heart broken sick by having to leave behind all of that decoratin’ that she decorated,” Bush said, “So, you will have to get the sheriff to smoke us out dead or alive, so all I can say, Mr. Sheriff, is ‘bring it on.’”

President elect Obama was surprised by the announcement that Bush will be a hold-over tenant and favors a peaceful solution to the crisis. “I plan to talk to the enemy as you have to keep all channels open rather than just go in guns blazing, but if an invasion proves to be necessary, I am ready for such action.” President Bush’s refusal to peacefully leave his home comes in the wake of embattled Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s refusal to leave that state's Governor’s mansion without “fight, fight fighting, until my last breath.”

The Mortgage Brokers Association has express alarm at these turn of events. “We can’t just have people thinking they are above the law,” said Clarence Blair, MBA president, “if we don’t stop this utter disrespect for our principles and values, the next thing you know they’ll torture people and say it's OK.”

CBS-TV is reporting it has obtained the rights to The Battle for the White House to run Tuesday nights against ABC-TV’s “Bribe-o-vech – the Rise and Fall of a Governor.”