WITH MIDDLE EAST IN TURMOIL BUSH COMPLETES QUEST TO BE WORST PRESIDENT EVER
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – President Bush told reporters that he finally completed his last piece of unfinished business with the outbreak of violence in Gaza. The president took credit for the latest surge of fighting in the Middle East, saying he personally told Israel that it would be a good idea to “shock and awe” Hamas by a full-scale attack on the Gaza strip.

“There is no doubtification in my mind,” Bush said, “that I am now the worstest president ever. Yup, I’m number one. See, I didn’t want to be one of those presidents that school kids forget like Martin Van Bureaucrat or Millard Filibuster. And since I couldn’t compete with the great presidents like Washington, Lincoln and Petraeus, I would have to be best at being bad.”

Bush touted his accomplishments of turning the biggest surplus into the biggest deficit, a massive loss of jobs, leading the country into two pointless and costly wars, sinking the economy, making a pathetic response to natural disasters, trashing the Constitution, shredding the Bill of Rights, elevating torture to the status of an American value, and causing an unprecedented loss of American esteem around the world. “I especially liked saying ‘mission accomplished’ all dressed up as a top gun fighter pilot,” Bush said. “But my favorite was looking at the mess in New Orleans and telling Brownie that he was doing a heck of a job.”

Senate Majority leader Harry Reid agreed saying last Sunday on Meet the Press, “I really do believe President Bush is the worst president we’ve ever had.”

“What the American people must understand,” Bush concluded, “is that you can’t mess up this bad by accident. It takes hard, hard work and a consecrated effort to achievicate what I have achievicated in total worseness.”