TOP TEN STORIES OF THE NEW YEAR
by R J Shulman

SANTA FE, New Mexico (PTSD News) Rather than wait for these stories to break, the Post Times Sun Dispatch with its vast and exclusive resources presents the biggest headlines of the new year:

1. BUSH FINALLY FINISHES “MY PET GOAT,” SAYS SURPRISE ENDING WORTH THE WAIT

2. OBAMA INAUGURATED; SOUTH CAROLINA SECEDES FROM THE UNION

3. TO BALANCE ITS NEWS REPORTING, FOX HIRES MICHAEL SAVAGE, HITLER AND SATAN

4. REVEREND RICH WARREN SORRY HE EQUATED GAYS WITH PEDOPHILES AND BESTIALITY, SAYS HE MEANT TO EQUATE GAY BASHERS WITH PEDOPHILES AND BESTIALITY

5. REPUBLICANS FILIBUSTER EVERY BILL PRESENTED: MEDIA BLAMES DEMOCRATIC DO-NOTHING CONGRESS

6. PALIN CATCHES HUSBAND WITH LIPSTICK ON COLLAR; TODD CLAIMS IT WAS ONLY A PIG

7. HD/DIGITAL TELEVISION FLOPS, TECHNOLOGY OK, PROGRAMMING STINKS

8. PAULSON FINALLY ADMITS WHERE BAILOUT MONEY WENT: MADOFF GOT IT

9. GM PRODUCES ITS FIRST PEDAL CAR, THE CHEVY GRUNT, SELLING FOR $80,000

10. CUBS WIN WORLD SERIES, END IS NEAR