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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Friday, January 09, 2009

By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – Eight years ago when George W. Bush took the oath of office, there were high hopes. There was peace, the economy was robust and there was the greatest budget surplus in US history. The new president promised to be a uniter, not a divider and was the kind of guy you could have a beer with. However, the problem with those with whom you might share a brew is that, frankly some of them are just not too bright.

Eight years later, the US is entangled in two costly and pointless wars, the economy is dropping faster than a Brandon Webb sinkerball, and the deficit is of such a mammoth size, that our grandchildren’s grandchildren will wish it was just an albatross hanging from their necks rather than their crushing debt.

How could all these terrible events occur so quickly? “This was clearly an intelligence problem,” said Randy Vorhees of the Sterling Foundation, “there was a reliance on faulty intelligence that got the US embroiled in a disastrous adventure in Iraq and even worse, a devastating mistake of relying on the intelligence of the president. “Compared to W, Forrest Gump is Einstein,” said a White House staffer who wished to remain anonymous.

“I should have been more smarter to be a decider,” Bush admitted, “but all is not lost because in the last eight years I finally got to learnicate answers to some of the most important questions of all time and I can say that yes, a tree is catholic, the pope does sh*t in the woods, and a bear does make a sound when it falls in the forest when no one is there.”

President Elect Obama has pledged that intelligence will be a priority in his administration. “The first order of business has already been accomplished,” said an Obama spokesman, “and that is to make sure we have a chief executive who an talk in complete sentences.”


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