SENATE TO SEAT BURRIS, BUT SAY HE MUST SIT IN BACK OF CONGRESS
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – After a lengthy struggle, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has finally agreed to allow Roland Burris to be seated as the Illinois junior senator as long as he sits in the back of the Senate Chamber. “This is an outrage,” said Jesse Jackson, “first they didn’t choose my son and now they want a black man to sit in the back.” Reid insisted the seating arrangement was not racist. “Mr. Burris in not being seated in the rear because of his color, but the color of his appointment, which is tainted by the man who appointed him, Governor Rod Blagojevich.”

Burris said he will not give up his front row seat when he enters Congress tomorrow. “I have been legitimately chosen for this position,” Burris said, “and I will take my rightful seat even I have to become the Rosa Parks of the Senate.” “At least he gets a seat,” said Al Franken the apparent winner of the hotly contested Minnesota senate race. Franken has been denied his seat due to a challenge by Republican loser Norm Coleman.

“I am still prepared to buy my way back into the Senate,” said former Senator Ted Stevens who was hoping the Burris appointment would be denied. “I have all this money I saved when I got my house remodeled that I would be glad to give to Governor Blagojevich to get that senate seat. We need integrity brought back to Congress and I am just the one to do it.”