GOP PRESENTS ITS OWN STIMULUS PACKAGE: THE RICH NEED MORE MONEY
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON (PTSD News) – A group of GOP senators, led by Florida’s Mel Martinez have constructed their own alternative to President Obama’s stimulus package. “We’ve cut the pork,” Martinez said. “Our package will not waste taxpayer money on the infrastructure and jobs, wasteful unemployment insurance and shameful food stamps, but rather concentrate on tax cuts. In fact, we will completely eliminate taxes for anyone who makes over $250,000 per year and give large bonuses to anyone over making over $4 million.”

“Bush’s tax cuts were working just fine until Obama caused the economy to tank,” said Martinez. “Any student of history can see the parallel of how Hoover’s tax cuts were driving a successful economy until FDR caused the great depression.”

“Democrats selfishly stopped the ultimate success of Reagan’s trickle-down theory because they have waged their class war against the rich,” said Fred Freidman of the University of Chicago, “This has kept the wealthy from amassing the amount of wealth needed to start that downward dribble toward the common man.”

“The cure for this economy will be these tax cuts,” said Grover Norquist. “In fact, tax cuts are the cure for everything. If the economy is good, cut taxes – if the economy is bad, cut taxes – if you are at war, cut taxes – if you are at peace, cut taxes, in fact, if you suffer from erectile dysfunction, cut taxes.”

Senator John McCain has not said whether he will support the Republican bill, but definitely will not vote for the President’s stimulus package. “This whole discussion is a waste of time because basics of the economy are fundamentally sound.”

“I am not in favor of any package, unless it contains my oxycontin,” said GOP chief strategist and talk show host Rush Limbaugh, “All I care about is that Obama fail.”