OBAMA’S FIRST WEEK REPORT CARD: C-
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – According to pundits and politicos, President Barack Obama earned a grade of C- in his first week as the leader of the free world. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said, “Obama has shown great leadership skills and hit the ground running in his first seven days, but I had to give him a C +, because as a Democrat, people would think I was being partisan if I gave him the A he deserved.”

“I had to give him a D because he didn’t keep his promise to fix the economy and get us out of Iraq by the end of the week,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “I gave him a B+,” said Bill O’Reilly, “because he didn’t say ‘pass me the MF nukes’ which is pretty good for a Negro, which shows that I am not a bigot.” “I gave him a B-,” said Senator Larry Craig, “but I would have given him an A+ is he had just told everyone that I am not gay.”

“I was hoping for better, but all he gets from me is a C-,” said George Will. “He didn’t come up with one of those memorable quotes like, ‘we have nothing to fear, but fear itself,’ or ‘ask not what your country can do for you’ or ‘you’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie.’” Sean Hannity said, “I gave Obama a C and that stands for cult. These liberals have given up critical thinking and agree with everything he says like he is a cult leader, which is unlike conservatives who supported Bush because they knew Bush was right on everything.”

When asked what she thought of Obama’s first week in office, Sarah Palin said, “I don’t know what the president does, so I’ll have to get back to ya.” The lowest grade came from Rush Limbaugh who said, “I want him to fail, so I gave him an F-.”