LIMBAUGH: MY STIMULUS PLAN – EAT THE POOR
By R J Shulman
NEW YORK – (PTSD News) – “I must admit that cutting taxes on the rich to shift the burden to the shiftless poor is not working fast enough,” Limbaugh said on his syndicated radio show last Friday, “The poor are so entrenched in staying poor that the only way to lift them out of poverty is to lift them with a fork from your plate to your lips. So, my friends, my advice is for you to find someone poorer than you and eat them.”

Limbaugh boasted that his plan was pure genius as it would bring down the poverty level while at the same time shrink the welfare rolls. “Just make sure you stay away from white meat,” Limbaugh told his vast audience, “because there is a greater chance they will vote Republican.”

“We agree with everything Rush said,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told the Post Times Sun Despatch. “And I have just introduced a bill that would give tax breaks to the most cannibalistic 1%.” “I really stand behind Mr. Limbaugh’s thoughtful plan,” said televangelist Pat Robertson, “as it says in Leviticus 24:12, “and Jesus said, ‘let’s treat the poor,’ which we all know means to have the poor as a treat, to eat them, if you will.”

House Minority Leader John Boehner also support’s Limbaugh stimulus package. “Obama mistakenly wants to put these poor people back to work, when he should be putting them between two pieces of bread.” Boehner recommends that Limbaugh’s program should begin in Washington because “there is so much pork in DC.”

“The hidden benefit to my plan is that poor people are the ones breaking all the laws,” Limbaugh said, “so consuming these poor people will surely take a bite out of crime, and most delicious of all, it will put a new twist on the age old question of look who’s coming to dinner.”