PRESSURE COOKER IN WHITE HOUSE KITCHEN EXPLODES: BUSH PUTS FOOD ON HIS FAMILY
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - An explosion rocked the White House kitchen last night when a pressure cooker blew it’s lid. President Bush, his wife Laura and their two daughters were in the kitchen at the time of the mishap. They were splattered with food, but otherwise unhurt.

“We are investigating the matter,” said Charles Boynton of the Secret Service. “We have no idea what happened but we have not ruled out terrorism.”

The President said, “I wanted to show my family what’s behind the yellow brick curtain of the white house kitchen where the cooks cook things when I noticed the thingy on the top of the pot was rattling up a storm ‘cause it was un-loose, so I tried to fix it and then poof – the air filed with flying meat as the pork roast flew all over my family.”

“I told George a while back,” Laura said, “that the day he knew his way around the kitchen is the day pigs fly. Well, the pig meat flew all right, but I still think he’s a bit out of his league when it comes to preparing food.”

“The President has received unfair criticism for his use of language,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “but this proves that when the President said it was important to put food on your family, he meant it was important to put food on your family.”