BUMPER CROP THIS YEAR OF REJECTED BUMPER STICKERS
By R J Shulman
DECATUR, Illinois – The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that an unusually large number of political bumper stickers were ordered but were never used as they found little support from the various candidates’ followers. “There are always some unpopular stickers in election years, you know, ones that don’t catch on,” said Chris Stuckey, President of Stickit, Inc., the largest manufacturer of bumper stickers, “but this year we had a record number of real losers. I don’t know what these people were thinking.”

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that some of the bumper stickers that received little interest before they were discarded included:

VISUALIZE WORLD WAR – VOTE McCAIN

VOTE FOR HUCKABEE FOR CHRIST SAKE

LET GUILIANI RUN AMERICA LIKE HE RAN HIS CAMPAIGN

END THE ENERGY CRISIS – VOTE FOR FRED THOMPSON

STOP THINKING ABOUT CHANGE FOR A CHANGE – McCAIN 2008

ROMNEY 2008 – A WHITE MORMON GUY IS STILL BETTER THAN A WOMAN OR A BLACK MAN

EDWARDS 2008 – CHECK IT OUT, I GOT RID OF KERRY

CLINTON 08 – WATCH OUT MONICA, I’VE GOT THE BOMB

OBAMA 08 – WATCH OUT MONICA, SHE’S GOT THE BOMB

And the sticker that found not a single taker:
CHENEY 08