WHAT’S IN A NAME? GOP TO STOP USE OF BARAK OBAMA’S MIDDLE NAME
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – In a quick change of strategy, the GOP has ordered its members and friends in the media to stop referring to Senator Obama as Barak Hussein Obama. “At first we were thrilled to use ‘Hussein’ when referring to Obama as we were not sure how much racism we could get away with when attacking him,” said Sanford Welch, of the Republican National Committee. “S0 we planed to associate Obama with Saddam, turbans and terrorists to neutralize his message of hope.”

“We even prepared for the firestorm of Democrat protest,” continued Welch, “by telling everyone in our talking points that middle names were used for Franklin Delano Roosevelt and JFK. What we were not prepared for, was our discovery of the lesser-known middle names of prominent conservatives. We figure if we stop the Hussein stuff now, we will be able to keep our own middle names secret.”

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has obtained a copy of the secret middle name list which included among other conservatives: George “Warmonger” Bush, Rush “Oxycontingassbag” Limbaugh, Rudy “the fixer” Guiliani, Bill “MF” O’Reilly, Ann “Shesaman” Coulter, John “Insane” McCain, Michael “Tinyweiner” Savage and Richard “Beelzebub” Cheney.