CHENEY GOES TO HELL
By R J Shulman
HELL, Michigan – Vice President Dick Cheney made a rare trip to the Midwest when he visited Hell, Michigan today. Hell, a tiny town, population 266, located approximately 20 miles northwest of Ann Arbor, welcomed the Vice President with open arms. “We wanted him to feel right at home,” said Mayor George Devlin.

Cheney said his visit to the small town following a severe winter storm that caused extensive damage was to “see if Hell had frozen over and if so, if you will, that would prove that global warming was indeed a hoax.” When President Bush learned of Cheney’s visit to the storm damaged area, Bush said, “You’re doin’ a hell of a job, Dickie.” “This should put to rest,” said a spokesperson for the Vice President, “that Mr. Cheney wouldn’t go to hell and back for the American people.”

After he is done with Hell, Cheney is scheduled to visit Sulphur Springs, Texas. “There’s nothing like it,” Cheney said, “I love the smell of Sulphur in the morning.