McCAIN GETS RELUCTANT HITLER ENDORSEMENT
by R J Shulman
BRUNAU, Austria - Citing that he was the lesser of all the evils, Adolph Hitler endorsed the candidacy of Senator John McCain. “While McCain sometimes has fits of conscience, he is far superior to a woman or a black man,” Hitler said, “I do like McCain’s position on the preemptive war in Iraq. Makes me nostalgic for what I did to Poland. But what is this talk of a only a hundred year war, John? Grow some balls. Your empire is supposed to last for a thousand years.”

“I was hoping that Giuliani’s thug tactics or Tancredo’s hatred of foreigners would win out,” Hitler said from the secret bunker he sometimes shares with Dick Cheney, “but McCain should grow into the job as he’s coming around with all his straight talk about expanding the war. My favorite, of course, is George W. Bush with his glorious patriotic lying, spying, and fear mongering. And when he established a department of Homeland Security, I practically wet myself. I don’t know why Bush doesn’t try for a third term, though. He broke so many laws already, why not disregard the one about the two term limit?”

McCain said that he was still reveling in the joy of receiving the endorsement from far right conservative Reverend John Hagee, that he had no comment on Hitler’s support. However, a McCain spokesman said he believed that McCain would accept this latest endorsement as “John will need all the help he can get to defeat the enemies of America.”