McCAIN SAYS HE WILL FINALLY END WAR: THE VIET NAM WAR
By R J Shulman
PHOENIX - Senator John McCain, the likely Republican candidate for President in November said today that he is ready to propose a timetable to end the war, the Viet Nam War. “My friends,” McCain said to a small gathering in Phoenix, “my plan is to first send our troops to Viet Nam to liberate the freedom loving people of South Viet Nam from the Commies in the North and then I’ll personally hunt down the goo… of how I hate political correctness, I mean the guys who held me prisoner.”

Leonard Spoiler, a spokesman for McCain said, “John knows the time is right to finally win this war now that the US can use torture on the enemies and illegal wire taps to round up the domestic enemy combatants, you know the war protesters. In addition,” Spoiler continued, “the media these days won’t get the gullible public all riled up like they did three decades ago by showing the horror of war and soldiers who are dead. Today the media would rather show the horror of Britney Spears and Linsay Lohan who is dead drunk.”