CHENEY UNVEILS NEW GOP “SO?” ELECTION STRATEGY TO COMBAT ANY CHARGES FROM DEMS
By R J Shulman
NEW YORK – Vice President Dick Cheney revealed the new Republican election strategy during an interview with ABC-TV’s Martha Raddatz. After Cheney said that the US had made major success in the Iraq war, Ms. Raddatz asked how his statement could be reconciled with the fact that about two-thirds of the American people believe that the fight in Iraq is just not worth it. Cheney responded by saying, “So?”

“We thought this was a good time to try out our bold new approach,” said Stix Larsen of the Republican National Committee. “The plan is whenever the Republicans are accused of any misdeeds, failures or downright criminal activity, the response will be ‘so?’ There is just no comeback to that gem. For example,” Larsen said, “if someone asks McCain if he thinks its OK to spend billions in Iraq and leave poor children without health care, all he has to do is say ‘so?’ Even he can handle that.”

“This is not a new strategy,” said Clifford Bauer of the Rand Institute. “It hasn’t been used since Hitler was asked how he could reconcile the murder of innocent Jews, Gypsies and others with Christianity and basic common humane behavior. He was quoted as saying, “Ja” a German form of ‘yes’ that in his particular context had the same meaning as Cheney’s ‘so?’ This ‘so?’ strategy was also used quite effectively by Torquemada during the Spanish Inquisition, by Attilla the Hun and by Satan himself.”

The Democrats are scrambling to combat this powerful new GOP plan. “So far all we have come up with,” said Democratic Chairman Howard Dean, “is to answer the ‘so?’ with ‘so what’ or ‘sos your old man’ but we think they will be about as effective as John Kerry’s response to those swift boat ads.”