BUSH INJURED WHEN HE CONFUSES BODY ORIFICE WITH GEOLOGICAL OPENING
By R J Shulman
CRAWFORD, Texas – President Bush was slightly injured today due to an apparent confusion between a body part and the ground. “I don’t know what to think,” said Laura Bush. “First I saw George wiping an indentation in the earth with some toilet paper. Then I heard a scream. George had a drill and was drilling in his, you know, where you sit.”

The President, who is recuperating said, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about the big deal. I just thought there was some natural gas in there and I wanted to do my part to unleash the energy crisis.” Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino said, “Just because the President was searching for Texas crude does not mean he’s a crude Texan.”

“What this is all about,” said a source close to the President, “is that Bush simply doesn’t know his backside from a depression in the ground. What concerns me,” said the source, who wished to remain anonymous, “is what else he might not know. He could confuse Saddam Hussein for Osama Bin Laden and then where would we be?”