McCAIN: IF ELECTED I WILL BRING CLOSURE TO VIET NAM ERA BY BOMBING IRAN
By R J Shulman

FLINT, Michigan – Republican Presidential front runner John McCain unveiled his plan for bringing the country back together amidst an era of partisan bickering. “We can heal the wounds of the Viet Nam era and the 60’s by bombing the crap out of Iran,” McCain told a gathering in this declining manufacturing city. “Just like we came together in World War II and overcame the petty differences, we can all join in the destruction of the great Satan, Iran.”

“I agreeicate with Senator Don McLean,” President Bush said, after he learned of McCain’s plans, “Them Iranians have some pretty mean speed boats and so we should bomb Iran back into the stoner age.”