AFTER HIS TERM IS UP, BUSH WANTS TO BE POPE

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - "I've been decidicating what I want to do next when my term finishes its end," President Bush said in an interview with Brit Hume of Fox News, "and the only step up to being the leader of the free world is to be the Pope. You'd have to take that step first before you could be installed as God, which will eventually be handy for me as I will be able to talk to myself and God and God to me at the same time."

The interview will air on Fox next Thursday. In a candid moment, Bush told Hume, "Being Pope would be hard, hard work, but my words would be infailable, which means there wouldn't need to be any correctications of my words once they were spokified."