BUSH: MISSING CIA TORTURE VIDEOS EATEN BY PET GOAT
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – President Bush announced today that after a thorough internal investigation into the destroyed CIA torture tapes it was discovered that they were eaten by Monty, the President’s pet goat. “I guess my pet goat was starvicatng for hunger,” the President said, “as his daddy goat was unable to put food on his family, so he masticated on the CIA tapes that were advertently placed near his stall.” The President vowed he would read all about Monty’s new adventures to a first grade class sometime soon.

“I don’t buy it for a minute,” said Representative Henry Waxman of California, “The President knows that some hanky panky went on here and he is just looking to blame some scapegoat.”