WARRENTLESS WIRETAPPING HAS SAVED AMERICA FROM HORRIBLE ENEMIES SAYS BUSH ADMINISTRATION
By R J Shulman

WASHINGTON, D. C. Trying to fend off criticism of his administration when it became known that he authorized warrentless wiretapping from the inception of his Presidency, George W. Bush outlined the program’s benefits. “Without our listenations of our enemies, we would not have been able to defenedate against the old lady Quakers of South Florida who were planning an unpatriotic cookie bake off to raise money for peace that would have undermined our war in Iraq. These snoopdroppings have also let us know the exact details of just how some OBGYN’s practice their love for women all over this country.”

“This intelligence gathering has prevented many an attack,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “of course we missed 9-11, but we were forewarned and thus prepared just how to counter attack and ridicule that traitor John Kerry when he planned to don a duck hunting outfit during the last election campaign.”

“Nobody wants an administration that is uniformed,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “so it should be with great relief that the American people understand that not only do we know where you live, but exactly what you do when you are there.”