BUSH TO PROPOSE CHILD INSURANCE ALTERNATIVE: ISSUE POOR KIDS THEIR OWN BOOTSTRAPS
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON, D. C. – In a move to counter the rising criticism for vetoing the bill commonly called SCHIP that would have provided health insurance to millions of children, President Bush announced that he is proposing a counter measure. “My bill of legislative would grant these not rich kids their very own bootstrap,” the President said, “so’s whenever they need some health, they can just hoist themselves up by their own Government supplied petard.”

“The tax and spend name calling Defeat-o-crats bill would’ve cost $35 millions, mine would use excess bootsraps, some from soldiers who won’t need them anymore and costicate only $1 million, sos anyone who calculataticates the math could see it would save more than 57 millions.”

“In addition to the bootstraps,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “our bill, the Children of Want Childrens Insurance Program, or COWCHIP bill, would give kids a copy of financier Warren Buffett’s book, “If You Want to Make Money, Here’s How it Was Done,” while the little black kids will get a book from one of their own heroes, “If I Did it, Here’s How It Was Done,” by O J Simpson.”