MASSIVE RECALL OF DEFECTIVE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS DECALS
By R J Shulman
WESTCHESTER, New York – All American Trading Company has ordered a substantial recall of over two million “support our troops” stickers. The decals, which were manufactured in China have been found to be dangerous to Americans.

“We discovered that placing one of these stickers on a car or SUV has given the user a false sense that everything is going great and that they don’t have to do anything else,” said William Ford of the Consumer Protection Agency. “They seem to lure the sticker’s owner into an unrealistic belief that they have done some kind of good deed,” Ford continued, “when they have really done dick.”

The problem has been linked to a sticker factory in Shanghai that used phony materials. News of the recall has caused the death of factory owner, Ling Pao Shan, who committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head. So far only one American, General David Petraeus has been hospitalized for overdosing on the sticker.