SUPREME COURT DECIDES IN 5-4 VOTE THAT BUSH IS VICTOR OVER GORE FOR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

By R J Shulman

WASHINGTON, D.C. - By the narrowest of margins, the Supreme Court ruled that the Nobel Peace Prize is to be awarded to George W. Bush over Al Gore, the apparent early winner. In Bush v. Gore II, Justice Antonin Scalia, speaking for the majority, said. “we had to stop the Nobel Prize Board from re-counting their votes as it would prejudice the votes of the members who had already voted for Mr. Bush.”

Gore has stated that while he was surprised by the outcome, he has to abide by the Court’s decision. Senator John Kerry commented that he would have given up long before the court decision.

President George W. Bush, who when told of the Court’s decision as he stood over a map of Iran, rattling a seventeenth century Samurai sword, the gift of Japanese Prime Minister , said, “We got to fight the oceans over there, before we have to fight the oceans over here, because OBGYN’s can no longer protect us. Stay the course. Terrorist killers. 9-11. 9-11. Heh-heh. Heh-heh.”

“He is really grateful for the honor,” said Laura Bush, “and will let everyone know just how much as soon as the new meds kick in.”