RADIO TALK SHOW HOSTS LAMENT LOSS OF FREE SPEECH: WE CAN NO LONGER CALL A SPADE A SPADE
by R.J. Shulman

NEW YORK – Bernie McGuirk, producer of Don Imus’ recently cancelled radio and television talk show, lashed out at critics today at the Talkers Magazine convention of radio talk show hosts. “Where is the first amendment?” McGuirk asked. “Thanks to the scourge of political correctness, you can no longer call a spade a spade or a n***er a n***er. In fact,” he added, “I suspect that the liberal media newspapers will use asterisks to blot out the word n***er.”

“We are under attack from those sick demented liberals,’ said national talk show host Michael Savage. “First, I get kicked off the TV for saying all gays should catch AIDS and die, the next thing you know we won’t be able to tie up one up of those blasphemers and beat the crap out the limp-wrested destroyers of all that is American.”

“And don’t forget the war on Christmas,” said Bill O’Reilly on his Fox TV show. “These America-hating liberals are trying to stop good Christian Americans from being able to shove our religious practices down the throats of the heathen non-believers.”

“We need to bring back the Salem witch trials to determine who is a true Christian and who is not,” said talk show host Sean Hannity. “The only question,” he added, “is who should go first, Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton.”

“White male Anglo-Saxon protestants don’t stand a chance,” said talk show host Neil Bortz, “all the power in this country is wielded by people who don’t even look American.”

“These dope-smoking liberals are such hypocrites,” said Rush Limbaugh. “They call for liberal health care laws, yet want to restrict me from seeing as many doctors as I want to.”