NANCY PELOSI INVADES IRANby R J Shulman
TEHERAN, Iran – Making good on her threats, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has ignored the pleas of President George W. Bush and invaded Iran. “She knew I was the decider,” said an exasperated Bush, “and that it is I that makes the decision when and where to invade innocent countries.”
“I can’t believe she has learned nothing from history,” said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “you can’t just invade a country because you want to use conflict or, I shudder to think war for political purposes. The only way to peace is to use diplomacy and to diplomacy the hell out of them with, you know, 10 megaton shock and awe diplomacy.”
“You can’t invade a country with just a scarf,” said former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld from an office he still occupies at the Pentagon, “you must make sure that any inadequacies of equipment are far more reaching than just one person wearing a surrender cloth on her head. All of the troops must be unprepared.”
“I can’t believe that San Francisco value toting imbecile of a broad went to a country where they demean women,” said talk show host Bill O’Reilly.
Breaking ranks with the President, Vice President Dick Cheney was not so upset by Pelosi’s visit to Iran. “Would you rather,” Cheney said from an undisclosed bunker, “fight her over there or fight her here.”
TEHERAN, Iran – Making good on her threats, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has ignored the pleas of President George W. Bush and invaded Iran. “She knew I was the decider,” said an exasperated Bush, “and that it is I that makes the decision when and where to invade innocent countries.”
“I can’t believe she has learned nothing from history,” said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, “you can’t just invade a country because you want to use conflict or, I shudder to think war for political purposes. The only way to peace is to use diplomacy and to diplomacy the hell out of them with, you know, 10 megaton shock and awe diplomacy.”
“You can’t invade a country with just a scarf,” said former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld from an office he still occupies at the Pentagon, “you must make sure that any inadequacies of equipment are far more reaching than just one person wearing a surrender cloth on her head. All of the troops must be unprepared.”
“I can’t believe that San Francisco value toting imbecile of a broad went to a country where they demean women,” said talk show host Bill O’Reilly.
Breaking ranks with the President, Vice President Dick Cheney was not so upset by Pelosi’s visit to Iran. “Would you rather,” Cheney said from an undisclosed bunker, “fight her over there or fight her here.”
posted by R.J. Shulman @ 1:29 PM
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