JUDGE AWARDS ANNA NICOLE SMITHS BODY TO SCOOTER LIBBY
By R J Shulman
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL - In a stunning move, circuit court judge Larry Seidlin reversed himself today and awarded the body of Anna Nicole Smith to former Vice Presidential Chief of Staff, Lewis “Scooter” Libby. “It breaks my heart,” said a weeping Seidlin, “that such a great body of work such as Anna’s should be buried forever in a far distant land like the Bahamas.”

“He knew that Libby would be good at outing Anna Nicole like he did Valarie Plame,” said a judge’s spokesperson, after the judge broke down into uncontrolled sobbing. “Anna was the kind of special gal that looked good no matter what her weight, whether full figured or looking like a skeleton.”

“After Scooter gets his pardon,” said legal analyst James P. Naughton, “he will have plenty of time to disclose Anna Nicole to the press. No one is more qualified to handle such matters than Scooter. After all, the former model will be just one more skeleton in Libby’s closet.”

In a related story, Trimspa named a new spokesperson to succeed Anna Nicole Smith, by unveiling a campaign that will feature Deputy Chief of Staff and Presidential Advisor Karl Rove. “If there is any major pork to be lost,” said Clayton Margulies, head of Phipps-Langdon, Trimspa’s ad agency, “it’s the blubber carried around by white middle-aged neo-cons.”