PRESIDENT BUSH TO CUT AND RUN ON STAY THE COURSE
By R. J. Shulman

WASHINGTON – President Bush seemed to surprise the world and even his most staunch supporters last Sunday when he told ABC-TV's George Stephanopolous that “we were never stay the course.” However, senior Presidential and Republican officials have been quick to explain the apparent sudden abandonment of one of the President’s most used slogans.

He never meant ‘stay the course’ in Iraq,” said Presidential Press Secretary, Tony Snow, “he meant stay on the golf course.” “I thought he meant stay for the seven course meal,” said Speaker of the House, J. Dennis Hastart, “which reminds me that I haven’t eaten in minutes and I’m famished.”

“I clearly heard him say we should stay and run,” said Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, “and in that, he is unwavering.” “He has been completely steadfast,” said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, “in that it has always been shock and stay.” “I am sure it was ‘stay and torture,’” said Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

“I believe strongly, if you will,” said Vice President Dick Cheney who cut and ran to his bunker, “that ‘stay the course’ is in its final throes.”