BUSH TO RELEASE RAP ALBUM
by R. J. Shulman

HOLLYWOOD – In a move to shore up slipping support for the Republican Party especially among young voters, President Bush announced that he is releasing a rap album, Blow da Roof off da Sucka. “Dis homie be reachin’ out to da otha homies and what not,” Bush said at his album release party at the Roxy in Hollywood.

Known as George “Big Decida” Bush, the President is joined by guest rapper, Dick “Chill Killa” Cheney. “It adds credibility to the CD,” said Presidential Press Secretary Tony Snow, “to have a guest rapper who actually shot a man in the face.” Cheney raps on I Fought the Law and the Law Lost and Don’t Dis My Bros which includes the lyrics, “Don’t dis my bros, o’ yo ass be in its final throes.”

Also joining Big Decida’s Posse is John “Def Squad” Niggaponte, Rush “Fat Ass” Limbaugh and Donald “Mad Killa” Rumsfeld. Originally scheduled to be included, but left off the CD was Condoleezza “Oil Slick” Rice. “Dat bizatch ain’t got no soul,” said Big Decida Bush, “she musta lef it somewheres in da hood.”

The first singe, I Da Man is scheduled for an October release. “I got a plan,” Big Decida raps, “to stick it to the man, but since I be the man, I gonna stick it to Iran.”