PLUTO DOWNGRADED
By R. J. Shulman

HOLLYWOOD - In a stunning move, Disney announced today that after a study of his attributes, Pluto will be downgraded from a full fledged Disney Character to a sidekick. “He just wasn’t on the level of a Mickey or even Mini,” said Disney spokesperson Milton Frediman.

“He’s not very cuddly, nor does he exhibit a brashness of a let’s say, Donald Duck,” said Mark Gundlesburger one of the researchers studying the case, “He was more or less like a Sneezy, who you could just blow off if you had to.”

“Just because Pluto has lost his status,” said Leland Fine, Disney attorney,” Doesn’t mean we will not vigorously defend any unauthorized use of the Pluto character.”