STUDY SHOWS BUSH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN SADDAM HUSSEIN IN IRAQ
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – A group of American and Iraqi epidemiologists have reported that over 655,000 people have died in Iraq since the United States led “Coalition of the Willing” attacked the Hussein regime on March 19, 2003. This number of dead Iraqis is the amount that would not have died in the past four years had the invasion not occurred, the newly issued report stated.

By comparison, in his 25 years as leader of Iraq, Saddam Hussein caused the deaths of as many as 500,000 Iraqis and another 500,000 in his needless war with Iran. “At the rate Bush is going, he will top Saddam in a mere eight years, an amazing seventeen years ahead of the pace of the Bagdad Butcher,” said an unnamed White House spokesperson.

“The liberal press can no longer say,” said Vice President Dick Cheney from an undisclosed bunker location, “that there is any incompetence in the President’s plan for the war. I mean, would you rather have those 655,000 dead Iraqis over there or have them over here?”

“And I thought that only about 30,000 of them A-rabs had died,” said a up-beat President Bush. “I guess you can’t underesteeming the power of American enginoos and their enginooity.”

“These numbers are rock solid,” said Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove, “unlike the phony poll numbers the President is getting from the slanted liberal media regarding his approval rating.” “It’s good to finally see some statistics coming out of Iraq that are so accurate you can take them to the bank,” echoed Thomas C. Wentworth, a senior official with Halliburton.