LOST CHENEY ‘I HAD A DREAM’ SPEECH FOUND
by R J Shulman

DALLAS – On his last day of work before his job was shipped to Dubai, a janitor at Halliburton discovered a hidden document under an old desk. “I knew that I was cleaning what used to be Dick Cheney’s office, so I turned it over to the bosses,” said Jaime Guitierrez, a twenty year veteran of the formerly Dallas based company.

“Apparently Dick was planning to give this speech in August 1988,” said Clayton McSweeney, a Halliburton spokes person, “but he never got the chance as he had a heart attack.” “We thought this gem was lost forever,” said Halliburton CEO David Lesar, “but now the American public can get a proper view of a man that the liberal press has slandered, a man with the desire to hearken back to the days of traditional American family values, such as slavery.”

Some of the highlights of the speech are, “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self evident that some men are created more equal than others, that one day in the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slave owners will re-enslave the sons of former slaves and sit down at a table where the former will be well served by the latter. I have dream where once again my children, even the lesbo will be judged by the color of their skin and not the content of their character, cause God knows I didn’t have any of that to pass down."

For a complete text of the speech go to http://www.whatwouldcheneydo.com/.

In the wake of this discovery, Representative Trent Lott (R-Miss.) introduced a bill to change the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. national holiday to Richard Bruce Cheney Day. “It would be a day celebrating the traditional hard working ethic of the American people,” said Lott. The bill stipulates that except for high ranking management and legislators, employees would have to work a double shift that day. “There would be no overtime pay, actually, no pay at all,” said Lott, “so the average American worker could have empathy with the 10% or so of the you know whos, who would now be promoted from the lazy welfare rolls to the satisfying work of slavery.”