IMUS TO GET AWARD FROM NCAA WOMENS BASKETBALL
by R J Shulman
New York – The National Collegiate Athletic Association, Women’s Basketball division has announced that it will be awarding shock jock Don Imus a special appreciation award. “Before his thoughtless racist remark about the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team, as being made up of “nappy headed hos,” said C. Vivian Stringer, the team’s coach, “almost no one knew that there were female college teams who vie for a national championship.”

“We been called worse than what that white DJ called us,” said Essence Carson of the Scarlet Knights, “at least now we are being called, called by Nike and whatnot for endorsements.” “All I got to say to that aging fool," said Epiphany Prince one of the Scarlet Knight stars “is thanks,” as she waved her new contract from Gatorade.

“Thanks to that creep Imus," said Cappie Pondexter, star of the Phoenix Mercury. “people now are more aware that women play professional basketball and that WNBA is not a radio station in Cincinnati or some shit like that.”

“I can’t believe that he made fun of our appearances,’ said Kia Vaughn of the Scarlet Knights. “Did you see how Imus looks? It looks like my 400 pound aunt Eunice fell out of a ten story window and landed on that hateful man's ugly-ass face.”

Asked if Imus should be fired from his radio show for his remarks, comedian Chris Rock said, “he shouldn’t be fired for being racist, he should be fired for not being funny.”