SANTA CLAUSE FIRED FOR SAYING “HO”
By R J Shulman
NORTH POLE , Canada - After a firestorm of controversy, Santa Clause was fired from his job of delivering toys and Christmas cheer due to his use of the word, “Ho.” “Can you imaging the emotional damage suffered by my three little girls,” said Monique Hart of Nutley, New Jersey, “when this big fat oaf enters our house and said ‘Ho, Ho, Ho,’ right in front of them.”

“I was just trying to have some fun,” Santa Clause had said immediately after the incident. “I sincerely apologize to the women of the world and promise to bring them a great gift this year regardless of whether they were naughty or nice.”

“He just doesn’t get it,” said Francine Goldbluth of the National Organization for Women, “first he uses the word ‘ho’ and then talks about women being naughty.”

“It’s not really his fault,” said Mrs. Clause. “Nikky has just been exposed to all that Christmas music on the radio. You know, like ‘Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.’ I think there is a ‘ho’ in that one.”

“He wouldn’t have been fired if he were black,” said national talk show host Rush Limbaugh. “If he were black,” said Reverend Al Sharpton, “Mr. Limbaugh would certainly not be getting any oxycodne in his stocking for Christmas.”

“I am really ticked off at this turn of events,” said recently fired shock jock Don Imus. “I finally get a job playing Santa at Macy’s and some nappy headed ho up and fires ‘ol St. Nick.

Some people never learn.