TUMBLEWEED COMMITS SUICIDE
By R J Shulman
RIO RANCHO, New Mexico - A tragic incident has shaken this sleepy Albuquerque suburb when it was learned that a tumbleweed committed suicide by diving in front of a car on busy Rio Rancho Boulevard.

“One minute he was on the sidewalk,” said eye witness Clyde Sanchez, “and the next he dashed right in front of a blue Toyota.” “I just couldn’t stop in time,” said a distraught Nancy Cromwell, the driver of the car that struck the tumbleweed, “he just jumped right out in front of me with no warning.”

“We should have known this was coming,” said Dr. Wayne Hodgkiss, a psychiatrist at the University of New Mexico Medical Center, “you can’t help but become despondent when you spend most of your life just drifting from town to town.”