BUSH EXTENDS HIS OWN TOUR OF DUTY
By R. J. Shulman
WASHINGTON – Citing the strain that the war is putting on the office of the President, George W. Bush announced that he is extending his Presidency for at least fifteen months past January 2008, the date his term was originally going to end. “Someone has to be in charge of the troop surge and make sure it goes right,” said Bush, “and as the decider, I decided that I am the most qualified to be the surge protector.”

The decision -- coming three months after President Bush put forth his new security plan for Iraq, including the deployment of at least 28,000 additional troops there -- reflects the reality that the new strategy is unfeasible without introducing a longer Presidential tour.