BOOTS, BOOTS AND MORE BOOTS ON THE GROUND
by R J Shulman

 

Have you been hearing all this talk about US boots on the ground in Syria?   Most Americans polled say they are against it.  Well, I think I am going to buck the tide.  I actually might be in favor of US boots on the ground in Syria, with one condition – that these boots are in no way connected to the feet or legs or any other body parts of US military personnel.   Being war torn and all, I bet some of the Syrian people could use some new boots and maybe we could drop some other kind of useful shoes they could use as well.  Or maybe instead of boots, we could put books on the ground.  It is theoretically possible that educating a foreign populace is better than eradicating them.  Or instead of boots or books, we could put boobs on the ground because there is a good part of any given population that would be distracted enough by that to stop and stare rather than kill each other.  Unattached boots, books or boobs would certainly be better than sending bombs, drones, missiles, aircraft, smart bombs, dumb bombs, explosives and weapons of mass destruction that are nothing more than US aid to the quarterly profits of Halliburton and their friends.  But, alas, I am dreaming, of course, because you know what they say in halls of government in Washington.  They say that war is not the answer.  It is the question as well.  “War?”  “Hell, yes, war.”