ZIMMERMAN RESCUES FAMILY FROM BURNING HOUSE, BREAKS UP AL QAEDA CELL, BUT GETS NO PRESS

by R J Shulman

SANFORD, Florida – (PTSD News Service) – Celebrity attorney Mark O’Maera has asked the question, “what does one have to be considered a hero around here?”  He, of course, is referring to the remarkable day that his client, George Zimmerman had last Thursday.   O’Maera reported, “after George save the family from the overturned SUV, he pulled a family of four from their burning house and while en route to a local shelter to donate food to poor people, he rescued three woman who had been held captive in a basement by a deranged sex offender for a decade, and then while at a local hospital to visit with children with cancer, he overheard and broke up an Al Qaeda cell that was planning to blow up Orlando and while driving home from that he jumped out of his car in time to save the cutest family of ducks you ever saw who were crossing the road in front of a runaway school bus full of special needs children that he was able to jump onto and stop when the driver had a heart attack who was then saved by George using CPR.  Yet all the liberal media want to report is all of the demonstrations in support of a thug who broke off a piece of lethal sidewalk and tried to pummel this amazing hero, George Zimmerman to death.”

O’Maera said that he can’t believe that his client was able to get a fair trial in such a biased country.  “I just don’t understand that after all of the good deeds that George  has done in one day that no one reported it.  I mean, what does a guy have to around here to get arrested, oops a poor choice of words, but you know what I mean.”

Zimmerman was unavailable for comment, but a spokesperson said that George was in the Middle East getting Israel and the Palestinians to sign a new peace treaty before he planned to visit Geneva, Switzerland where he plans to drop off a new cure for cancer that he developed.