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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – In a 5-4 split decision, the US Supreme Court held that the United States Constitution is no longer valid.  “Times were very different in 1789 when the Constitution was drafted,” said Chief Justice John Roberts who wrote for the majority, “so we are sending it all back to Congress to draft a new Constitution that will reflect a more up to date document that can take into account current legal principals such as corporations being people and money being free speech and for freedom to mean being free from the government from taking this freedom called  money.”

Roberts indicated that until such time as Congress acts on crafting a new Constitution, all power will be left to the States to determine their own laws.   South Carolina has already acted by reinstating slavery. “Now that the War of Northern Aggression, sometimes erroneously referred to as the Civil War has been overturned,” said Lindsey Graham, R- SC, “our great state can once again pursue our goal to make Charleston the slave trade capital of the world.”

Major banks and Wall Street movers and shakers have applauded the Court’s decision.  “It’s about time that the government get out of the business of governing,” said Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase. 


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