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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Friday, August 16, 2013

by R J Shulman

INDEPENDENCE, Missouri - (PTSD News Service) - It's official - former neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman will be the replacement for the as of yet unnamed rodeo clown who wore an Obama mask and mocked the president at a Missouri State Fair in Sedalia.  An unnamed Missouri State Fair commissioner announced earlier that this unnamed rodeo clown was banned for life from all Missouri State Fair activities because many as of yet unnamed state fair attendees found the rodeo clown's antics patently racist.

"We are certain that George Zimmerman will be the perfect replacement," said another unnamed Missouri state official, "not only has George been found by a court of law not guilty of racism, but he should have no trouble distracting the bulls by pretending to pound his head into a bloody mess on the ground and should be especially good with black bulls wearing hoodies."

A Zimmerman spokesperson said that he was uncertain when George would start, but it would be sometime after details were ironed out that would allow a rodeo clown to carry a loaded hand gun at the state fair. 

"I am both happy and outraged at the same time," said radio and TV talk show host Glenn Beck on learning of Zimmerman's new career.  "I am happy for George's new opportunity, but I am shocked that Barack Hussein Obama, who claims to be all about  job creation just made that poor as yet unnamed rodeo clown unemployed."  "Bravo for the brave Missourians who have rewarded George," said talk show host Sean Hannity, "I can assure you that my good friend will use his First Amendment rights to freely criticize the Muslim president as well as he showed he could exercise his Second Amendment rights."

An unnamed Republican representative from Texas, who invited the as yet unnamed racist rodeo clown to perform in his district, said, "this whole brouhaha was because them liberals can't take a joke. "I just don't get it," this unnamed representative continued, "why are all of those lazy, uppity, shiftless, welfare cheating, watermelon stealing, fried chicken chomping darkies calling us racist?"

A new Quinnipiac University Poll suggests that this as of yet unnamed rodeo clown is the early front runner for the GOP in the 2016 presidential race, far ahead of Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ron Paul, Ted Cruz, Ted the foul mouthed Teddy bear in Seth McFarlane's movie, as well as all of the yet unnamed Republican candidates.


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