OBAMA GETS SERIOUS ABOUT SYRIA

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News Service) - With all the talk about weapons of mass destruction being used in Syria and the president of the United States getting all set to get involved in the conflict, just hold your horses, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama.  You must not be too hasty here.  There is a lot at stake and such a move requires deep thought and careful deliberation.  Here are the ten essential questions you must ask yourself before you decide to get medieval on Syria's ass:

1.      Do they have any oil?

2.      Can we topple a statue of their dictator on live TV?

3.      Will the Syrians be appropriately shock and awed by an attack by US forces?

4.      Will there be an awesome live photo op for me on an aircraft carrier, where I can dress up in uniform and say "mission accomplished?"

5.      Do they have any oil?

6.      Can I get my friends no bid contracts to rebuild Syria after we destroy their country with bombs purchased by no bid contracts from my friends?

7.      Should I not care about knowing anything about the opposing factions in a country I am about to place into utter political turmoil?

8.      Will my actions in Syria be more decisive than what my father did in Syria?

9.      Does Syria have a prison or dungeon where we can use enhanced interrogation to determine whether certain Syrians were in cahoots with Osama Bin Laden or are just ordinary terrorists?

10.  Do they have any oil?

And, of course, don't forget to ask this important question - Do they have any oil?