KARL ROVE COMPLAINS THAT DEMS CHEATED BY VOTING IN DROVES TO OVERCOME HIS DIRTY TRICKS

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – Karl Rove has finally explained the reason for the startled look on his face when Fox News announced that Ohio and the election belonged to Barack Obama. “Our fix was in and should have been foolproof,” he said today on Fox, “We only needed to shave three points in Ohio, two in Virginia and one in Florida, which we had easily accomplished, to secure the White House for Romney, but cheating Democrats, voting in large numbers caused us to lose what we had stolen fair and square.

“We had four years to purge the roles of likely Democrat voters, rig voting machines, make sure a lack of voting machines in Democrat areas created long lines, robocall Democrat voters with wrong polling information, print pamphlets in Spanish with wrong dates for the election, hire scary poll workers to intimidate likely Democrat voters, hand out invalid forms to African American voters, and execute dozens of other voter suppression gems, but the Dems cheated by simply getting more voters to the polls than we had projected in our model. How could they dare do something that is so unfair?”

Mitt Romeny concurred that he was also shocked by his loss. “Karl Rove advised me not to even bother writing a concession speech as he said this one was in the bag, that the fix was in. Me and my buddies had given that fat turd almost $400 million to his American Double Cross, I mean Crossroads GPS PAC and the bloated buffalo failed to deliver. All I have got to say to you, Karl Rove, you fat f*ck, is that you are going down like a car elevator.”

Rove concluded by saying that, “there ought to be a law that prevents Dems from stealing elections by actually voting. Oh, wait, we did have those laws, the voter ID laws, but communist judges shut those laws down just like a woman’s body will shut down a pregnancy she doesn’t want after she is raped."