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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – The Post Times Sun Dispatch has just learned that Fox News will  soon be begin broadcasting the ten real reasons they believe that Obama defeated Romney on November 6th.    The PTSD News Service will now present these well researched reasons that the Fox News anchors will be discussing over and over again over the next few days, month,  years, or for as long as they think it takes to make these reasons become solid facts with the American public.

1.      1. Despite valiant attempts by Fox and righteous-wing talk radio to warn the American public that Obama was a Kenyan Muslim terrorist who wants to send your Bibles and Guns to China, most Americans chose to believe the liberal mainstream media’s lies that Obama was born in Hawaii, that Hawaii is really a state, that Obama is a real Christian presidential candidate, that a real Christian presidential candidate could be somebody other than a Mormon, and that there were still guns and bibles available in American stores.

2.      2. Since only black and Latinos voted for Obama it means that the 2010 census was wrong and whites don’t have to wait until 2050 to become a minority.

3.     3.  Republican voters in Ohio got confused because they thought that if they voted for Obama on the electronic voting machines it would automatically flip their vote to Romney, when that would only happen in minority districts, which means that Romney actually won Ohio if you can follow the logic.

4.     4. Since due to affirmative action, a black person’s vote counted twice compared to a white person’s vote only counting once, Obama was truly the affirmative action president.

5.       5.  Romney was actually more liberal than Obama, so the conservative actually won the election.

6.      6. Karl Rove smoked too much pot when he met with Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson to try and get him to drop out and it was really Rove who dropped out, causing him to fail to properly fix the election

7.      7. Democratic thugs put out the word that they would be able to tell who voted for Romney and be able to hunt them down to personally accuse them of voting that way because they were racists.

8.      8.  People were turned away from the polls in swing states if they could not produce a valid book of food stamps.

9.      9.   Obama’s plan to redistribute the wealth worked so well, that it redistributed the votes, too.
      10. I thought Romney got elected?


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