NUMBER OF HISTORY MAJORS SOAR AFTER GINGRICH REVEALS HE GOT MILLIONS AS FANNIE MAE'S HISTORIAN
by R J Shulman

HAMDEN, Connecticut - (PTSD News Service) - According to a new Quinnipiac University poll, the number of students deciding on careers as historians has skyrocketed ever since former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich admitted he received $1.6 million dollars as historian to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.  "History was almost dead as a career path for college students," said Amy Putnam a senior research analyst who helped conduct the poll, "but Newt Gingrich has singlehandedly resurrected an interest in the study of the past."

"Man, if I can pull down a million smackers for being a historian who tells money lenders not to make bad loans, I'm all into this historical stuff," said Cody Stoner, a sophomore at Reid College in Portland, Oregon, who switched his major to History from Hemp Studies. 

"I was a political science major," said Nancy Cottenworth, a junior at Dartmouth, "but just switched to history because not only does the term lobbyist have a bad connotation thanks to Occupy Wall Street, but Newt proved you can actually make more money as a historian consultant than as a generic lobbyist."

Others have regretted that they had not chosen to study history.  "If I had only chosen history instead of majoring in industrial design, I wouldn't be out of work," said Billy Partelli, a Stanford honors graduate, whose job was shipped to China.

"Once it becomes known  just how much Gingrich's firm has made as a historian consultants," Putman said, "not studying the past on college campuses will become history."