WALL STREET RESPONDS TO PROTESTS WITH COUNTER PROTEST CALLED “OCCUPY EASY STREET”

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – In its first official response to the month old Occupy Wall Street protests, Wall Street investment managers, bank CEO’s and insurance executives have hit back. “We will see if those idiotic masses can brave the cold filthy streets, them all huddled and shivering under ratty blankets, teeth chattering out their hateful Marxist slogans,” said Conrad Westfield of Goldman Sachs, “We don’t have to dirty ourselves with that sort of behavior because we already occupy Easy Street.”

“If these old spoiled homeless rich kids want to make fools of themselves, let them,” echoed Walter R. McLeish of Bank of America. “In the time it takes one of those malcontents to scribble out a protest sign I will have earned three million dollars.

“The founding fathers built this country on free speech,” said Antoinette Meyer, successful manager of Acme Investments, a wealthy hedge fund, “and since the Supreme Court says money is free speech, it looks like I’ll be doing a lot more talking than those indigent mongrels gathered in the park.” When told that the people in the street did not have the money to buy even a small amount of influence in Washington, Meyer said, “if the protesting masses don’t have enough bread to buy lobbyists in DC, then they should use cake.”