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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News Service) - Fox News announced at 6:28 AM EST this morning that they have projected Newt Gingrich the official winner of the 2012 election and next president of the United States.  Fox shows that Gingrich received 286 votes to Obama's 252, identical to the 2004 Bush victory.

"How can Fox be projecting the election winner when not only is the vote nearly a year away, but it's before even one state has weighed in on the Republican primary?" said Democratic strategist James Carville.  "It's just like a sore loser Democrat to try and overturn the election on technicalities like waiting for people to actually vote," said Fox New President Roger Ailes."

Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform praised Fox for their announcement, saying that there will be thousands of taxpayer dollars saved that won't have to be wasted on supplying polling places and counting votes. 

CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN followed by declaring Gingrich the winner.  "We just didn't want to be scooped by more than an hour by FOX," said Les Moonves of CBS.

Gingrich thanked supporters and FOX for his victory stating the first order of business will be to overturn every progressive law passed starting with child labor laws.  "Nothing is off the table," Gingrich said, "not even anti-slavery laws."


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