AFTER SUCCESSFULLY OUSTING OCCUPY WALL STREET PROTESTERS, AUTHORITIES PLAN TO OUST “OCCUPY AMERICA”

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – The crowds may have been disbursed from the Occupy Wall Street site in New York and similar encampments in Los Angeles, Philadelphia and other cities, but those authorities who drove them out are not yet done. “These people are still occupying America,” said New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, “and are capable of moving their subversive action anywhere inside the country. That’s why they must go.”

“We can’t allow these protestors to violate the Constitution by assembling and speaking freely,” said Ernie Winsocki, the Mayor of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania who ordered the removal Occupy Wilkes-Barre, “and besides, the protesters are smelly.”

Estimates are that authorities and special interest groups such as the newly formed This Land is My Land, This Land is Not Your Land, called Land” for short expect to deport about 150 million Americans to countries where their ancestors may have come from. “We can’t have a bunch of people get in the way of the normal order of things,” said David Koch, of Koch Industries and leader the Land group, “besides we don’t want this group of unemployed troublemakers get the idea that they can take away jobs from illegal aliens, who understand how to appreciate the gift of getting whatever wage the employer thinks is fair and not expecting any days off or safe working conditions.”

“We will be getting rid of all of those people who hate America, which includes 99% of the population,” said Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, whose actions to end collective bargaining sparked demonstrations that may have been the spark for the Occupy Wall Street movement. “While I appreciate what Governor Walker is trying to do,” said Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd C. Blankfein, “he does not belong to the 1% so he is going too.”

“I applaud the actions of this Land group of true Americans,” said talk show host Rush Limbaugh, “and I have recommended that the first person they get rid of is the person who hates American the most, Barack Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Obama. Did I forget to say Hussein?”