43^rd WOMAN CLAIMS AFFAIR WITH CAIN

by R J Shulman

BALTIMORE – (PTSD News Service) – Frieda Peoples has emerged as the most recent woman to say that she has had an affair with embattled presidential candidate Herman Cain.  The Baltimore native announced that over a nine year period Cain wined and dined her at expensive hotels all over the world, but mostly had fresh pizzas delivered to her door, sometimes in person.

“I knew the man was married,” Peoples admitted, “but I just couldn’t keep my hands off his pepperoni.  Getting a slice of him was better than getting nothing.”  Peoples said she is coming out now to “get my piece of the publicity pie.”

“This high tech lynching is just the price I have to pay as a black Republican man in America,” Cain said, “and I am not going to be screwed and harassed out of  this campaign and will stay in it as long as my wife’s behind and those other women’s behinds are behind me.”  Cain concluded by saying, “any charges of fraud, kidnapping, armed robbery, rape or murder that may come up about me in the future are flat out false lies.”