BP RESUMES TESTING CAP; NOT ON OIL LEAK BUT ON LIABILITY GAP

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - BP has continued to test their scheme to put a stop on the leak, the leak on their profits, that is. "Not only are we confident we can hold the liability cap at the $75 million that Congress had set up to protect us after the Exxon Valdez," said BP spokesperson Kent Wells, "we think we have enough votes to retroactively reduce the cap to $75 dollars."

Pundits agree with BP. "If they don't have enough congressmen in their pockets now," said Edward W. Sintas of the Goldstone Institute of Bethesda, Maryland, "they will be, after being able to pour all that money to elect their candidates in the upcoming mid-term election. The $20 billion dollar promise to Obama was just good public relations," said Sintas, "but by the time all the BP lobbying is done, their paid public officials will have passed a law that will force the US to reimburse BP for any damage payments they made over $75 dollars." Sintas noted BP has employed twice as many lobbyists than they have personnel to clean up the mess in the Gulf.

BP responded by saying "We are proud to be part of a well-oiled government," Wells said.

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